5' 10" Suit 36 Shirt 14 x 32 Trousers 27 x 30 Shoes 9.5 Hair Black Eyes Brown

It could be my awareness that many of my patients suffering with chronic pain have crossed over to heroin abuse after getting hooked on over prescribed painkillers.

There's a great possibility though that it's none of the above. I believe what really gets to me is that I know first hand how drug addiction can permanently alter the lives of the addicted and their loved ones. So with every over prescribed opioid I administer to my patients I secretly mourn my personal loss. 

In the mid 70's when suburbanites were casually singing the words to the popular Simon & Garfunkel song "Bridge Over Troubled Water" which hinted to the proliferation of heroine use, my urban family was in the midst of crossing a  troubled bridge of our own, leaving us without a father. In spite of my fathers often absence; (physically, emotionally and spiritually) his death in a Detroit crack house sealed the coffin of my childhood hopes for him; for us. Today's drug crisis is quite different.

Today drug addiction and overdose deaths are effecting white Americans more frequently than Blacks and Latinos. One reason for this disparity according to one recent report is that "doctors are more reluctant to prescribe painkillers to minorities, because doctors mistakenly believe that minority patients feel less pain or are more likely to misuse and sell drugs. 

Regardless of whom is more effected; we are all in this together and we had entered a new age where in some states, doctors have filled out more painkiller prescriptions than there are people. Anti-anxiety drugs are involved in the increase of addiction and drug overdoses as well. Xanax and Valium are leading many to their grave. 

I'm sure that the answer to the current crisis in the U.S. is complex and multi-faceted. However, one question keeps coming back to me; it is the same question I asked  the day I visited my father laying in intense care with his bullet riddled head swollen to the size of a basketball. Why Is Everybody "Snowed"?

Photography Is  Writing With Light

Do you know the origin of the word 'Photography'? It was created from the Greek root words "photo", which means light, and "graph". which means writing. After giving much thought to it's derivative meaning, my role as a  photographer has began to take on a greater meaning. As a photographer I am writing with light. The images I capture are not stagnant, but are telling a story; a narrative that often goes deeper and beyond any words.

Today I deviate a bit from my gentleman's style blog to shed "light" (photo) and "write" (graph) to tell a story that resonates deep within me; so deep that I often cannot find the words to express the mix of labile emotions that rush to the surface. 

Every Father's day provokes within me a mixed bag of emotions. The happiness of observing the celebration of so many son's with their fathers; coupled with my reality of growing up fatherless and the psychological consequences that accompany it.

To have never grasped hands with a father, roughhoused with him, rubbed shoulders with him in a physical way, especially when he lived within touching distance, is a deprivation beyond what most people can imagine. In some ways my father wounded me and left me for dead; unfortunately for many years I thought I was too. However, by giving what I didn't get, I gradually I began to feel life circulating through my veins and into my heart; I began to feel the pump of my arteries and the tingling in my capillaries. The law of reciprosity had worked. The bread I had cast upon the waters began slowly to return to me and the black hole deep within me began filling up. 

The Lessons I Learned When My Father Left

Through his absence my father taught me some valuable lessons. He taught me that life isn't fair; that there are no guarantees of love, except the love of God. He taught me that despite what pre-dispositions we are born with, or what psychological effects may be associated with our childhood experiences, we  ultimately make our own choices of whom we are, or what we will become. The absence of my father mandated that I believe enough in myself to overcome the disadvantages of growing up without a father. My father forced me to believe that I can determine my life and my future, and I thank him for teaching me these lessons albeit his absence. 

Perhaps, the most valuable lesson my father taught me through his absence is that it is possible to "Give What You Didn't Get". Without knowing he was teaching me, in my father's absence he made me painfully aware of my feelings of worthlessness and my lack of self-esteem. This prompted me early in life to enter into an agreement with myself to never be the cause of such feelings in my own child. I formulated a mission not to focus on what I didn't receive but to extended my self by giving to my own child, and to others fatherless children the love and affection I had not received from a father. The law of reciprocity went to work. Eventually, the attention, affirmation and the love and affection I yearned for as a child began to return to me from places I had never imagined. 

Give Up The Fantasy of What Could Have Been

In order to receive back the bread I'd cast upon the waters, I had to fully give up the fantasy of "what could have been", and embrace the reality of "what is". This is easier said than done. It is only natural to want the approval of a father; for him to be there to guide you along life's path and to give you the "right of passage into manhood". Every child deserves a father that has made deposits within him or her from which they can draw upon throughout their lives. However, regardless of how much every child wants and deserves that; it is far from reality. Fatherless men must first give up that fantasy because it's never going to happen. However, fatherless men who "Give What They Didn't Get' and let go of the fantasy of what could have been allow themselves to become better fathers and mentors. They rid themselves of the false filters of pretense that so many present day fathers hide behind. They also escape the impasse of self-pity and self-doubt causing their lives to be more satisfying and fulfilling. 

Write Your Own Story

As I looked closely at what I wrote with light in these photographs; as I peered deeply into the eyes of the children and the eyes of their fathers; I realized that they are one and the same. Although in different worlds separated years apart, they all want and need the same things. Regardless of what world we inhabit we want to feel that we are important enough for someone to care about. We want to feel that we truly matter to someone. Fathers I entreat you to write your own story. Not with photographs tucked away in an album, but write your own story by "Giving What You Didn't Get" to your own children and to the fatherless. When you do, something very miraculous will happen. You will fill the void in yourself by simply giving of yourself to others. 

What Will Detroit Become?As the struggle for Detroit and what it will become continues to rage, one voice rises stronger, brighter and more powerful in 2017. It is the voice of the Detroit Urban Gentleman.

Of What Good Is The Past" A people without knowledge of their past history, origin and culture is like a tree without roots." - Marcus Garvey

He's Been Here BeforeHe's been here before. The necklace of the downtown streets of Detroit like the network of veins on the back of his hand. A lot of things have changed; but they're really just the old things with a new face. A familiarity, a kind of deja vu, keeps him balanced with each revolution of the earth; like before.

MaestroTo conduct the orchestra you must first turn your back to the crowd.

Staying PowerMotown has come and gone, the booming car industry has been diminished, but certain things have staying power. Like the class of a gentleman.

Blurred LinesAmidst the changing tide and the blurred lines, the Detroit urban gentleman stands erect. He continues to hold on to the values that we are all drawn to. Until the smoke clears he stands alone.

Minimalism:'It is easy in the world to live after the world's opinion: it is easy in solitude to live after your own; but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude." - RWE

The Detroit Gentleman Returns in 2017He brings circa 1940 - Dirty Martinis - Leather Gloves - The Paradise Theatre - Coltrane

However, when we on occassion spot a gentleman in a crowd, or see him walking in solitary on the street, we are all drawn to him. We see his thoughtful gestures as strength and a reflection of the power of a locomotive under decided restraint. He is a man. 

In an age where being crass has been elevated to diplomacy, we all secretly long for the return of class, dignity and the respectful behavior of the urban gentleman.  We reminisce his refinement, his eloquence and manners; so we warmly invite him back.

In this blog we explore our admiration of these disappearing qualities and harken the return of the urban gentleman in 2017.